the screaming banshee

Well it has been awhile but here i am again. My little guy is mow 9 months and on night 2 now of his screaming banshee routine. I am at a loss to what to do with him he nurses and beats me up in the process wanting to feed for comfort but not wanting me to touch him at the same time. He stays latched on but pushed out from my body on his hands and feet, it is quite the juggling act. Then when he is finished with that goes to pulling my hair and hitting me while screaming as loud as humanly possible. i often wonder what i did in a past life to deserve this, was i an ax murder or something and this is just karma catching up to me? Being on my own with the hubby away is tough enough and i will do anything to make this kid happy and not to wake the toddler but often i am at a loss to what to do. We have another well check tomorrow so more questions will be asked but i fear the answer will just be some kids do this and in time this too shall pass. with my first i could anticipate his wakings and have a drink or 2 if planed according but not with this guy. I fear that he could need to nurse no matter how awful he is to me at any time.  In these dark hours of night i often wonder if this kid even likes me he loves my mom and will just let her rock him all night. since i am up and he seems to have settled for a bit that i will take a show to clam myself now. I really just feel like my heart has been ripped from my body my little baby who i should love (as much as my other) really in my eyes just hates me and on some level i feel the same for him.